The internet is evil

To be honest, I think I'm handling this herp thing pretty well, if you take out the fact that I've had more nervous breakdowns in the last year than I ever have had in my life, and that I've got a bottle of pills "just in case" (although clearly I haven't used it). Don't get all crazy on me about the pills, it's hidden, and I would never do that to my mom. But I will say it's having my heart broken- repeatedly- that I have that stash.

Really...I'm doing okay with it. Except when I look up symptoms on the internet. There's no handbook on herpes, in my case the doctor just told me I had it but couldn't provide any real answers. Granted, I had no idea what to ask at that point, but because it's not a fatal disease, I don't think researchers care that much about looking into it, despite the fact that it affects so many people and causes so much physical and psychological pain.

I have been very lucky in terms of the frequency of symptoms, but I also get paranoid about things. I think there's a strong possibility that some things are psychosomatic, but I like to be sure. While I'm a big fan of "googling," in this instance it just reminds me of the fact that I have this, and even though there are so many other people who have it, I feel isolated.

So I'm closing that browser window, and stepping away from things that make me unhappy. For now.